day 178: randomize me

All four boys were in and out tonight as Geo and I sat on the couch for our date and talked (tomorrow night we are going to Salt Lake for a fancy-shmancy dinner at The Roof for Valentine's Day).  #4 was hanging out with the neighbors before he left to go to a movie with his good friend, #3 was at a friend's house before he ran home to change before he went laser tagging with some young men and women in Provo, #2 was a little late getting home from work, and then he left to play games at a friend's house, and we were even delighted to get an unexpected visit from #1 son on his way back to his apartment after attending a wedding reception of a friend.

This is our life, both literally and figuratively.  Between school for 5 of the 6 of us, jobs for half of us, church stuff for all of us, and social lives for everyone, we are like drops of water skirting around on a hot pan.  We bounce and wiggle and, every now and then, come together.  Efforts are very deliberate for me and my husband.  We have to plan any moment we want to spend together.  It is calculated and scheduled and counted on.  I don't know that we are that different than most couples/ families, but right now we are stretched to our limit.

In another place and time, far far away, things will slow down and I will be able to breathe again.  I will be able to turn off a morning alarm and roll over.  But today, in this place and time, I sit up fast and get everyone going.  I start making lunches while people pour into the kitchen rubbing their eyes and looking for papers I need to sign.  I run and shower before I have to drop people where they need to be.  I get back home and clean up, sit down with my books and want oh-so-badly to take a mid-morning nap, but do homework instead.

And buried way beneath my notebooks, my IEP files, and my dirty dishes, is a happy mom, wife, student, teacher, that loves life and counts numerous blessings.

8 comments

Dona | February 13, 2010 at 1:04 AM

That was a nice post. I can relate.

オテモヤン | February 13, 2010 at 5:01 AM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Luann | February 13, 2010 at 6:20 AM

Hopefully that happy mom isn't buried so deep that she can't come up for air once in a while.

I love your water in a hot pan metaphor. Why can't I think of cool stuff like that? :)

Connie | February 13, 2010 at 7:32 AM

Love that your date activity was sitting on the couch! I'm sure that doesn't happen very often.
Enjoy your long weekend.

Kimberly Vanderhorst | February 13, 2010 at 2:44 PM

I find it funny how life's hecticness sometimes seems joyful and sometimes overwhelming. I thrive when things are busy, and wither when the are not, and yet having time to rest and be is such a sweet thing. Some weeks I miss my husband desperately. Others I wave him out the door with a smile.

I love how you find the joy in the midst of the chaos.

Melanie Jacobson | February 14, 2010 at 6:42 PM

We are busy but comfortably so. I brace for the day when it gets crazy, because I know it will, but I try hard to embrace the moments we're in now and not forget that they're fleeting. Having an 8 year gap between my first and second kids helps because it's a reminder of how fast these little guys will grow.

Heidi | February 16, 2010 at 9:21 AM

Don't know how you do it!

Dedee | February 17, 2010 at 10:32 AM

That sounds familiar. I'm just frightened that mine's only going to get worse. My kids are still getting older.