is it hot in here, or is it just me?

I am enjoying a free month here. By "free" I mean, no classes, and no time at the new job yet. It has been a chance to be an at-home mom, and I am reminded of how much I like being home. I clean, I cook for the gang, I have lunch with friends, I go on afternoon walks. It is good and it is me, for the moment.

And in six weeks number 2 will be moving out to go to school and it will go down to four people around here. How did everything change so quickly? How did we shave one-third of our population down here in the house?

The den needs a good organizing and going through, but I run across scrapbooks in the big closet and can't see what I am doing through the waterworks. I turn into a sniffling ball of mom and I can't see unless I empty my hands to wipe my eyes dry.

I am excited about school and new challenges for me, but it seems like these opportunities are screaming: Hey! You are old now! Your kids need you a bit less! And you are old!

Yes, a few times this Summer I have complained about the heat in a nicely air-conditioned building. Everyone seems to stare at me as I fan myself with whatever paper I can find in my purse. And I have woken up some mornings sticky on the back of my neck with sweat. flashes? Yes, I am older now. My kids need me less, but I am learning that they only need me a little less for temporal things. They still need me (maybe even more than in the recent past) for other things. Advice, reassurance, guidance through the tough teenage years, or the re-entry after a mission. It is a good time to remember my blessings of more independence and freedom, and kids who are growing up well.

Now, where is that ice pack?

10 comments

Connie | July 3, 2009 at 6:28 PM

I can totally relate as can thousands of other women. I find i'm just as busy with my older kids, feel just as guilty not being at home when they need me, and dang, I'm HOT! (You can decide which "hot" I'm talkin 'bout)
Enjoy your freedom while you can.

Barbaloot | July 3, 2009 at 6:28 PM

Hey-I've been known to fan myself in cool building as well:) Hang on to those scrapbooks---I bet your kids enjoying looking through them, too.

Kimberly | July 3, 2009 at 6:30 PM

I get soppy over old photos too, and my oldest hasn't even gone to kindergarten yet.

Beautiful post. I think I'm going to go cuddle my kids now...

Kazzy | July 3, 2009 at 8:32 PM

C- muy caliente, mamasita.

B- the kids LOVE to look at themselves, the little narcissists.

K- I seriously feel like I have an emotional screw loose, but maybe that goes along with the hot thing :)

Jenny | July 3, 2009 at 10:39 PM

I am also enjoying some time at off from work. I have been cleaning, hugging, reading and cooking more. I also find that our house is minus 2 older children more and more. Leaving us with 3, which is really weird at times.

P.S. by the way I did not mind you laughing at my son's jaw (head)breaker story. I have to admit that I still laugh when I think about it.

gigi | July 4, 2009 at 9:17 AM

Been there and doing that!
I've got 5 ice packs in the freezer and the GRAND~girls love playing with them to so I guess they aren't just for old people :)

Blessings for you and your's on this our Nations Independence Day.
God Bless America!
Gigi

Heidi Ashworth | July 4, 2009 at 11:31 AM

Oh, Barb is so young and so funny! Sorry about the hot flashes. I hear it gets worse before it gets better. In spite of my old bones, I'm not quite there yet . . .

Little GrumpyAngel | July 5, 2009 at 11:58 AM

It's nice to read about what women who are in the same stage in life as me are going through. It makes me feel normal, less isolated, and comforted.

Hot flashes. I don't look forward to that. But any day now I'm assuming they'll come for me, too :-)

charrette | July 7, 2009 at 9:26 AM

That happened to me yesterday. All of it, in fact, including the photos and scrapbooks. (We're in the midst of a giant framing project right now.It's been SO MUCH FUN to sort through the old photos...and we found some great ones of you guys!)

On Friday Jordan was still at Girls Camp and Josh was still at boarding school and we were down to one kid. Jeff remarked how big the house felt. We got a glimpse of that empty nest thing and it was kinda spooky...but I admit I look forward to some independence too.

Eowyn | July 9, 2009 at 12:41 PM

I haven't looked at some of my stuff in years because I end up bawling and reminiscing and wishing I could go back.

And my kids need chaos control right now.