day 240: miss karen is flickering

I have learned so many things being a teacher.  I go to my job all dressed up and prepared to distribute the learning, and I end up being schooled.    

Letters make sounds.  Numbers are used for counting.  Can you feel yourself getting smarter?  Look at me when I am teaching you something.  Be kind to each other.  Please push your chairs in.  Your ring finger and pinky just go for a ride when you are writing.  Cough into your arm so you don't get your hands germy.  Say please and thank you.  Go get a tissue instead of mining in your nose.  We start all of our letters at the top.  Dancing at the beginning of the school day helps us get our wiggles out.

It's not like I didn't know these things already.  I have children of my own and was an at-home mom until a few years ago.  I loved being home, and if truth be told, I would love to be in that position again, even though my kids are getting old now.  But being in the classroom everyday, and loving other mothers' children, has been a blessing in my life.  Especially with my kiddos.  Yes, I am biased, but when was the last time a little boy writing the alphabet brought tears to your eyes?  Or when did you last give a standing ovation to someone who counted to 100?  It is special, in all of the double meaning that implies.

Now, the lesson I have learned most strongly.  Positive change can happen.  Just when you might think it is hopeless, that everything has been tried, to no avail, somehow a connection is made and the light bulb flickers, and all becomes right.  In these moments I am not only thrilled for one of my students, but I have hope for myself.  I can feel so stuck sometimes.  Stuck in my own head, with my own problems.  I can feel uninspired or unworthy. And then I have a moment with a student where a circuit is completed, and I am energized and ready to regain the optimism about myself that I know I felt once.  These little ones are symbols.  Types.

And each day I can be new again.

11 comments

misssrobin | April 15, 2010 at 11:03 PM

I love light bulb moments in my own life. Suddenly things become clear and I can't believe I couldn't see it before.

Thanks for the reminder.

Dona | April 15, 2010 at 11:53 PM

What a great post! Top 10. Very illuminating.

berlinwritergirl | April 16, 2010 at 7:40 AM

Thanks for sharing this.

April | April 16, 2010 at 10:11 AM

I too love a light bulb moment. Even if the bulb only flickers for a second to give me hope that there is something there. Something worth fighting for. :)

gigi | April 16, 2010 at 10:30 AM

Wonderful words for thought provoking feelings. Smiles.

Luann | April 16, 2010 at 11:17 AM

I needed this.

Miss Tinselly | April 16, 2010 at 1:43 PM

What Luann said

Kimberly | April 16, 2010 at 5:45 PM

I love my job but suddenly, for a brief moment anyway, I want yours. That was beautiful.

Stacy | April 16, 2010 at 6:56 PM

Fantastic post, Kazzy. I can really feel your love for teaching here. I too love the light-bulb moments- it makes the slogging through the mud moments much more tolerable.

CHERRANNE | April 17, 2010 at 1:30 AM

I think that that kind of enthusiasm is the innate resilience of a Person that is still strong as a child in most if not all People. The ability to adapt, find excitement and look at OnesSelf and see measuring lines of Progress. It is so sad that Some lose the ability to see those measures of Progress. God bless You Kaz, for being One Who helps those little Sweet Kids see the Personal Triumps and Feel the kind reenforcement that They need. :) <3 As You know, I have Loved Your Boys in a classroom setting(Well, all but one)and see the effect in them of Your wonderful support and care.

Lola Sharp | April 18, 2010 at 10:02 AM

Another beautiful post. Beautiful.