My husband was sad today as he called to tell me that a colleague and long-time friend passed away unexpectedly over the weekend from a pulmonary embolism. This friend was our age, with kids the same ages as ours. Those facts alone really make it hit close to home, and all day I felt a weird sense of reflection and out-of-body reviewing of my life. Very kind and loving tributes were paid to him on both his and his wife's facebook pages, and as I read I wondered what people would think about me if I were to die today. That macabre thing happens when someone tragically dies, but part of me thinks it is a good thing to let it take over for a little while, so that we learn something, and we re-evaluate where we are and where we would like to be.
Geo came home around 6, we had a kind of quiet dinner with numbers 3 and 4, and then when they were cleaning up and preparing for a family lesson, G and I went to talk for a bit. More efforts toward personal connections, he said. I need to get better at that. It is natural for women to foster relationships, but not for men. Not for me. I want to work harder at connecting socially with people.
We all take different things away from a heart-breaking experience. My own thoughts, after sitting with it for awhile? Would my children know that I loved them as much as I do? Would they know I loved God? Would they know I had endless faith in them?
Tonight as the day winds down and things settle into my brain and heart a little bit more, I think about the promise of eternal life. The ones left behind are sad, yes, but can we find comfort in knowing that our friend is not sad? Can we find comfort in the promise of eternity?
The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that this life is not the end, even though trying to comprehend that is almost impossible. Some of us will spend a larger percentage of our existence in this chapter than others. We are that we might have joy, and even when we fall short of joy we have God's grace to take us the rest of the way. All the way to the end of the numbers and back.