day 148: morning sickness

No, not that kind.  But it does seem like I wake up everyday with some anxiety and even nausea.  I am either preoccupied with work (getting observed twice today), finances, my children, my schoolwork, or something that feels out of my control.

I haven't needed an alarm in weeks and weeks because I find myself tossing and turning somewhere between 4 and 6 a.m. on a regular basis, no matter what time I go to bed.  I am starting to get a little ticked off about it.  Wait, that might cause more problems.  grrrrrrr

I am pretty sure it is typical of people my age to have these same issues they are worried about.  Our kids are becoming adults and starting to get independent, which means we hope and pray they have remembered things we taught them.  Financially the needs of everyone are bigger.  A trip to the dollar store, which used to work like magic for my ninos, doesn't cut it anymore.  And now I am working and going to school, which has been a blessing really, but has added stress to the family.  The other day my husband said he missed me sometimes.  "We get home at the same time most nights," I reminded him.  "But", he said, "your thoughts are split across more things now."  True.

I need to ride things out.  Read my scriptures more.  Count my blessings more.  Sleep more.

I am happy, just   s t r e t c h e d.

5 comments

Luann | January 14, 2010 at 11:32 AM

I've been feeling the same way lately. Sleepless, busy, worried. Happy is in there somewhere, but in January I always have to work harder to remember it.

And anyway, you have MANY more reasons to feel stretched than I do.

Marianne | January 14, 2010 at 12:50 PM

Hang in there. You're doing good things and you're doing them well. Joy in the journey, if you can!!

Connie | January 14, 2010 at 4:34 PM

Perhaps you can "persuade" others to do things for you so you can
s t r e t c h out and relax!!
You're making things work out so that's good.

Kimberly | January 14, 2010 at 5:58 PM

I'm in a very different stage of life but I know that happy but stretched feeling so well. Not enough hours, not enough money, not enough ME.

I love the moments in life where the stretching relaxes and we can just BE. I wish some of those for you.

Emma | January 15, 2010 at 6:18 AM

Every thing is better when we have sleep!! Good luck and hang in.