my own worst enemy
Sometimes I wonder about the voices I hear in my head. I know God can speak to me, but I speak to myself too, and sometimes cut Him off. Luckily He often comes back later to see if I have time for him. I try to reserve time and space to get the communication I need. I really do.
Impressions come. Like montages of photographs, I see things I need to do or people I need to talk to. I usually act on these things, but you know how it goes.
And lately I find myself overcrowded. My own doing most of the time. But when I allow cracks of light to come in I feel warm again. I need some answers and some companionship that will help me to push through while staying here in my good present.
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18 comments
I know what you mean. The companionship is there, and those cracks of light will keep you going.
Sounds like you are just too busy. So many things going on in your head. When I was still working I had so much wrestling of ideas in my head and it disturbed my sleep so much of the time.
I know it sounds trite, but I really find that writing things down can help me to get some of the noise out of my head. If I make a note of everything that's bothering me or that I need to deal with, it helps my inner voices to shush for a while. Otherwise they do go on!
O! How those inner voices can drive you NUTS!! I know how hard it is to determine which voice is the voice we should be listening too, but I have found if it is good then act. You can't go wrong. I love the wee hours of the morning, usually that is the best time for me to listen, and I do agree with writing things down especially when you have the impression. And that may be at 3am, so have pen and paper ready, you'll be suprised what you will find.
I like how you said, "Luckily He often comes back later to see if I have time for him"...that is so very true and something that I'm grateful for. He is forgiving even when we don't fully listen, then he gives us the chance to listen again and again.
We've all been there...sending you peaceful thoughts!
I think you know what you are doing.
You may be overwhelmed and think you don't have it together, but you are so TOTALLY put together.
You know where your strength comes.
Trying, Tauna. It helps to admit struggles though. I go for long periods riding it out, not always willing to say I am having a hard time. Thanks for the encouragement. :).
"overcrowded" YES.
I hope you find some peaceful head space. It's hard, even when you try hard. Life is so loud.
Feeling overcrowded is an unfortunate side effect to balancing so many important roles. Maybe writing will help clear some space? I do hope so.
I over-talk those impressions far too often.
totally understand! Thank heavens our heavenly father is so understanding with us and is always there. I work against my self so often, then some one says something to me that I know I needed to hear. It is as if heavenly father is speaking to me!
What could possibly be overcrowding your life right now? Come on, you have nothing on your plate. :)
I also love that He DOES come back to see if we have time for Him. Or rather, He always waits and is always ready and sometimes reminds us He's there.
Praying for you in all your current and anticipated (hoped for) adventures!
Oh sweetness. I want to slow down now and just listen.
I have a to share a fantastic quote with you from Elder Bednar. He shared this while I was in the MTC. I wrote it down word for word. He prefaced the quote by saying he was about do answer the question that is on the mind of every single member of the church: Are those thoughts spiritual impressions or...me.
"Quit worrying about it. Quit fussing, quit stewing, quit analyzing; quit worrying about it. Press forward with faith the Lord, Jesus Christ. Be a good boy,be a good girl. Honor your covenants, keep the commandments and I promise you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ that your steps will be guided. As you open your mouth, it will be filled. You will be in the right place at the right time and in most instances, you'll have no idea why or how you got there. So quit worry about it. You got the answer? Good."
I know this isn't exactly what you were writing about, but I thought it was relevant on some level. Keep writing!
It's a difficult balance because we live in a temporal world.
You are so profound. I just love you.
Definitely something I need to remember. I'm good at being too loud as well.
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