taking myself there

Last week I was invited to teach about 20 young women the principle of agency and accountability. In my studies I found a quote that said (paraphrasing here) apart from the gift of life itself, the choice to direct your own life is God's greatest gift.

My angle with these young women was to discuss directing our own lives toward positive relationships. To use this great power of choice to serve others. To choose honesty and integrity. To be our best selves.

There will come a day, I told the girls, when I will answer to God for the misuse of my talents. Like the times I have chosen isolation over collaboration, knowing full well that I am a collaborator in my heart. See, we will be accountable for that stuff too.

Free will. What makes us human. Flawed but driven.

hair shirt

It is harder than anything to see people you love hurting. And making choices that are self-destructive. Choices that effect other people you love. Hard. Super duper hard.

When I evaluate my own life as a way to get perspective, I am reminded that I have faced some tough things. Things which I survived. It helps to remember these things. At least a little.

Have you noticed how much easier it is to go through your own hell than to watch others do it? When it is your own suffering you just strap on the hair shirt and suffer it out. When it's someone else you live in the world of "what else could I have done?" Yuck.

The goal this week- breathe and pray and let go. A little bit.