bit of a shocker

I took Monday off work to finish up my application to return to school in the Fall. My plan was to enter the Post- Baccalaureate Special Education licensure program while I also started a teaching position in my current classroom (my friend and teacher Joan is joining her husband in China for two years). Since special ed teachers are always needed, it is possible to be fully employed while you are just beginning to be licensed.

I love my school. I love my colleagues (one of whom will be staying as a technician in the room). I love the kids. I love the feeling of doing something important. And it doesn't hurt that my school is only a mile away from home and keeps my hours away at a real minimum. After being a SAHM for eighteen years I have felt blessed to find a job back in education again (I was a fifth grade teacher when I was first married), but in a new and exciting section of it.

When I came back to work on Tuesday I was told by my very likeable principal that the higher ups had taken the job offer off the table and are planning on sliding an administrator with fewer district responsibilities into the position. Budget cuts. Kick in the gut.

Then when my husband got home he brought these.

Sweetheart. He loves me and felt rotten that I felt rotten. Beautiful flowers help. They really do. And so the next day I brought them in to the classroom to cheer us all up, since it wasn't just me that was disappointed the day before.

By Friday I was in the mood for a little hair therapy, which I crave here and there when I feel restless. So I went with a defiant single highlight that made me feel good. It was fun to play around a bit, even if I end up changing it again by Sunday night. It's my canvas and I like to mix it up.The main lesson I actually learned from this whole experience this week is that I can expect things of myself. I can be a real contributor. And this was a valuable thing to learn about myself even though the job itself slipped away. It's all good.


Minna | February 28, 2009 at 2:56 PM

unfortunately the budget crisis is effecting education across the country. this is a shame because it is certainly the school's loss. i do believe things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to so perhaps there is a better situation waiting around the corner. i love the blond streak. sometimes we take ourselves so seriously in life we forget that it's important to have a little fun. you continue to amaze me, karen mello.

Heather of the EO | February 28, 2009 at 6:36 PM

I'm sorry, Kazzy. Budget cuts totally stink. I'm sorry.

Beautiful flowers.

And beautiful you.

Mrs4444 | February 28, 2009 at 7:02 PM

I, too, was once led down a hiring path, only to be told at the end that they were hiring someone else. It came as such a surprise, because it was perfect for me, I thought. What I came to realize almost imediately was that God wanted me to know, "Yes, I know that you CAN teach kindergarten, but not everyone can teach kids with EBD. I need you right where you are." I'm sure He has a different plan for you. Can't wait to find out what it is.

Luann | February 28, 2009 at 9:04 PM

Everyone else already wrote all my thoughts. All I have left is this...


CHERRANNE | February 28, 2009 at 10:25 PM

*sigh* Awwwwwwwwwww Kaz. :-/ I don't know what to say. I have been going like crazy today and just sat down to do my belated Cinema Saturday when I read this! ?????????? :-O WOW. You rock INFINITY times INFINITY and here is My mad face for those who came up with this decision! >:-(
WOW. Anyway, I LOVE the blonde streak. Kaz! Keep it in until I can see it, K? I think it is TOO cool! Love You, Kazzy.

Kazzy | February 28, 2009 at 10:33 PM

Thanks for the cyber support, guys. I am doing fine. I think now that this may have been a blessing in disguise. We are regrouping and counting all of our blessings.

Lanie | March 1, 2009 at 10:44 AM

your canvas looks great...(it always does) I love it. I was sorry to hear about the teaching position, but, I'm sure something else will come along. I feel sorry for the children, I know you would have done so much for them. Take care...I love you. Mom

wendy | March 1, 2009 at 11:35 AM

LOVE the hair --it is fun to do something snazzy!!! My daughter is a beautician and so I get my hair done for FREE (thank goodness) it's expensive out there. Sorry about the job thing ...disappointments are hard and frustrating. Dang budget cuts!!! My husband is a special education teacher but he is getting burned out and would like to do regular ed. He is also a HS football coach which he loves doing more!! Nice of hubby to get you flowers.

Heidi | March 1, 2009 at 4:18 PM

I took the weekend off of blogging so I am just seeing this--I know you are over it and doing fine but it still stinks. I know you know it means the Lord has something better in mind for you. The Spouse and I used to take these things so hard but now we are so hard up for good entertainment that we just look at them with lots of anticipation--what's going to happent next? We're pretty lame and easy to please these days. :)

Melanie Jacobson | March 1, 2009 at 9:22 PM

Yeah, experiences like these bother me a lot less than they used to because I realize that at some point I'll see the purpose behind these unexpected forks in the road. You're needed for something else, is all.

Little GrumpyAngel | March 1, 2009 at 11:34 PM

I'm so sorry the job prospect did not work out the way you hoped. I'm sorry you had to experience such an undeserved disappointment. I'm also sorry the economic crisis is impacting our children's education, especially children with special needs.

What a tender, loving husband you have. And I love your momentary hair statement :-)

LisAway | March 2, 2009 at 1:23 AM

Cute and funky hair!

Ditto on everyone else about the job. Glad you're being okay with it.

Linde | March 2, 2009 at 9:36 AM

Yes, the gets to everyone...but I think it is great you are going back to school. In a way this might be better for you...Special ed. is in such need right now (probably always)...which school have you been working at? Who is the principal.

With No Child Left Behind, education has gotten a lot harder (in trying to bring everyone up to grade level--that is why I say that not getting the job right now, may be better) and has brought in a ton more stress.

Great to hear you are doing this. Where do you want to go to get the sp. ed. degree?

charrette | March 4, 2009 at 6:00 PM

I was just sick when I heard about this. Gid's response was sweet and refreshing.

Still so sorry that I missed you and your ice cream the other night. But very touched that you stopped by. In your own grief. Reminds me of a favorite Elder Maxwell quote: Empathy in agony is a portion of divinity.

Your gesture was divine.

Love you!

Anonymous | March 9, 2009 at 7:54 AM

love ya!