disneyland, on drugs, and mexican melancholy

Tuesday night I put my 14-year old on a fancy, shiny tour bus with his marching band. They drove all night in order to reach sunny SoCal by 9 am Wednesday, where they were going to participate in a recording session before romping around and causing mayhem.

There were months of planning and saving and spending that went into this event, and a sore throat was not about to stop boy #3 from this adventure. The swab for strep came back negative a few hours before the bus, but, man, were we torn about this trip. We did get some antibiotics, in case, but still.

Then last night we got a call from a chaperone parent. The cough is starting. The mom worrying is in full force, and I am finding myself preoccupied by it.

News from #2 in Mexico also has me concerned. Just some frustration and even a bit of heavy self-evaluation on his part. Some young men could use a little more of this, but this son of mine slips into it a little too easily, and I fear he feels a bit inadequate. He knows this about himself, but I would like to sit beside him and hug him and offer some in-your-face comfort. And what is it that always makes me want to make food for my guys when they seem sad?

So today I will pray and make a nice meal, vicariously taking care of my absent kids.


Kristina P. | November 4, 2010 at 9:49 AM

Oh, man, worst timing ever. I hope they both are OK!

Julie | November 4, 2010 at 9:54 AM

I think that is the hardest part about being a parent--when you can't be with them to help them through it and praying is all you can do.

Barbaloot | November 4, 2010 at 10:45 AM

If it helps, I can eat the nice meal you make vicariously for your sons:)

Hope Mexico boy has a comp or someone else nearby that can offer the in-your-face comfort for you.

And that band boy is well enough to enjoy the rest of his trip.

Kazzy | November 4, 2010 at 11:14 AM

Thanks for your support, guys. I am sure all will be well. I just needed to get my concerns out in print. I knew it would help.

Valerie | November 4, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Hope they are both feeling better soon!
It's hard when kids need their mom & they just have to tough it out! That's what builds character~ or so I'm told! :)

CB | November 4, 2010 at 1:19 PM

Oh this is so hard on a mother's heart for sure.
I think the one in California will be OK, especially if he has anti-biotics. He may feel a little worse for wear but the mouse cheers everyone up.
The missionary (I am assuming) on the other hand is harder. They are protected but satan works extra hard on those good boys. Grrrrrrr
I will keep your son in my prayers.

CB | November 4, 2010 at 1:20 PM

P.S. On thing we did for one of my friends sons when he was gone was we took a bunch of cards to church with the envelopes already addressed and postage on them and just asked people if they would send a note of cheer!

Lara Neves | November 4, 2010 at 1:25 PM

Man, sometimes being a mom is so hard. Especially when you can't be there for them. But I'm sure they both know that you're with them in spirit and they appreciate knowing it.

The Way I See It | November 4, 2010 at 2:36 PM

All I can say is; I FEEL you sista. It's hard when we feel our hands are tied, but there are other hands that are there for you (and them).

becca | November 4, 2010 at 2:47 PM

Ouch The hardest balancing act of mom-ness is knowing when they have to act for themselves (without all my brilliant wisdom lighting their path). I am feeling your issues. Way.

Robin | November 4, 2010 at 3:09 PM

You've prepared them well. They will be okay.

I know that won't stop the worrying, but I thought I'd remind you anyway.

Under my calm exterior, I am a basket case whenever any of my kids are away.

I'll say a special prayer for your boys (and for you).

LisAway | November 4, 2010 at 3:16 PM

I'll bet he feels your prayer, even if he can't eat your food. And I recommend getting a good hug from your husband.

Jenny Lynn | November 4, 2010 at 7:05 PM

One of the hardest parts about being a mom, is letting them go, praying when they need you and having faith in our Heavenly Father who is watching over them. I know this all to well right now, with my oldest living clear across the country.

wendy | November 4, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Oh man, I know how you must be in a worry tizzy.
I had a son who played in the highschool band and they had a BLAST on their trips. He still thinks fondly back on those fun times.

It is so very hard when our children are far away and we feel like there is nothing we can do to physically help them.
so we pray, and worry cause that's what mom's do.

AnneMarie | November 4, 2010 at 8:56 PM

Oh, I hear you on this one. Hang in there!

Connie | November 4, 2010 at 9:19 PM

It's always a worry when they're away and out of reach and need their MOM! Hope all is well with both #2 and #3!

amber_mtmc | November 4, 2010 at 9:38 PM

The first time I left my two babies, I called constantly to check on them. And that was with me leaving them, not the other way around. At this point, them leaving is something that is far far in the future. Yet, I think about what it will be like from time to time. Reading posts like these remind me that the worry I have now will not disappear. If anything, it will intensify over time and distance.

Lesa | November 4, 2010 at 10:54 PM

As our children go out into the world it seems like the worrying gets bigger.

Hang in there!

Ca88andra | November 5, 2010 at 3:47 AM

Not good about getting sick on a trip! Hope its a short lived thing and he enjoys the rest of his holiday. As for your son in Mexico - that must be so difficult for you! My youngest has those moments and its hard enough with him here! Thinking of you...

mermaid gallery | November 5, 2010 at 9:19 AM

It is now out of your hands...and introspection is part of growing up. I mailed my parents some incredibly down letters at one stage of my life. Existentialism......I was just trying it on...we do that....and parents get the brunt of it all. They are out having life experiences...and that is how it should be.

Unknown | November 5, 2010 at 9:43 AM

I've been there, Kaz. My son was injured on his mission, and it was two months before the decision to release him (4 months early, much to his grave disappointment) was made. It was difficult to leave him to the stewardship of his priesthood leaders, but that's where the revelation comes and where your child learns that he can find the answers he's looking for. Hope you're feeling cheerier.

Judi | November 5, 2010 at 11:07 AM

hugs and prayers all around!
hope things get better.

Stacy | November 5, 2010 at 6:18 PM

Thinking of both your boys.

My high school music trips are some of my best memories- I hope he feels better soon.

Praying for your missionary as well- and for you.

Rachel Cotterill | November 6, 2010 at 10:50 AM

Yup, food can be a great comfort blanket - I always cook if I'm feeling stressed or under the weather :)

charrette | November 6, 2010 at 5:31 PM

Food is the ultimate comfort. And your boys have proven, time and again, that they can survive anything! That said, it's so hard to nurture from afar, isn't it?

charrette | November 6, 2010 at 5:38 PM

Wait -- I take that back. The Spirit is the ultimate comfort. And that they can feel from a thousand miles away. Remember this post? http://divergentpathways.blogspot.com/2009/02/mothers-reach.html


Anonymous | November 6, 2010 at 10:25 PM

This thing about worrying about your kids, I suspect it will never go away. Mine are only 8 right now but I can imagine that I'll want to soothe and love and pamper all the days of their existence. (And beyond most likely.)

I'm praying for your kiddos and knowing that God will make sure they get your long-distance comfort. =]