my power

I remember when I learned about the power of the first-born.  

We were sitting in the back seat of the car during a night drive, my two younger brothers and I, and I looked over at them right when some head lights hit my face just right.  My brothers scooted closer to each other and shivered with fear as they saw my big dark eyes glaring at them. Unintentional scariness, of course.  Once I figured out that without a word I could wield that kind of power, I found ways to use it to playfully (honestly) intimidate them.  But after a while I came to learn that I was really just kind of scaring myself.  There is a real "thing" about a first-born, whether it is the stereotypical charismatic leader, or someone who does it more subtly.

I like, but don't need, to be in control.  I am a problem-solver.  In a small group I am comfortable leading out.  I can do that.  Not necessarily bossy, but firm and confident enough.  I admit that the challenge I like best is charming people into trusting me.  Not in a slimy salesperson kind of way, but in a public relations kind of way.

This has been a real benefit in my profession, where parents have to trust my judgment.  They need to like me enough to believe me.  And they need to look at my eyes, when the head lights are hitting them just right, and choose to trust me rather than to be scared.  It is a good kind of pressure that I want to measure up to.  It allows me to satisfy my first-born tendencies and help these little kiddos at the same time.  Awesome combo (honestly).


Marianne | May 3, 2012 at 12:59 PM

If I could have had a big sister, I'm sure I would have loved it to be you!

Kristina P. | May 3, 2012 at 1:04 PM

I am a first born, and you described me pretty accurately!

Emily | May 3, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Love being a first born...and you charmed me, so there's proof it works. ;)

mermaid gallery | May 3, 2012 at 3:46 PM

the power of the a little spooky...but oh so brother terrorized me....and he always knows Mom backs him on that....

Erin | May 4, 2012 at 10:43 AM

What an interesting way to think of being a first born. I always thought of being first as a liability, like being neurotic and high strung, and a perfectionist (in order to please my parents since I was first). I'll have to think about this newer, more positive perspective you introduced to me just now...

wendy | May 5, 2012 at 2:28 PM

Oh I love your sense of POWER.
In it's purest form.
I guess for many of us "the headlights have to hit us just right".......before we get what is being said to us.

I am still a "deer in the headlights" kinda gal. (tee,hee)

I am a first born too...but my sister, (2nd) is much more a leader then me. I feel like the younger sister.

Becca | May 6, 2012 at 7:53 AM

You totally do have that kind of power. You are a leader, and we can look in your eyes and see that. And trust you.

Welcome to the Garden of Egan | May 7, 2012 at 12:54 PM

That is hilarious.
I'm the baby....of two.
But I have seen the "alpha" tendencies of my first born. You are right.

Connie | May 8, 2012 at 3:49 PM

I discovered the power of the first born right AFTER I was born and met my older brother. There's also a power that comes in being the my sister! The only power I had in my family of 3 kids was power over myself!

Do I sound like I have MCS? (middle child syndrome)

PS I think you're nice. :)

CB | May 9, 2012 at 4:58 PM

We are twins Kazzy! I am the oldest with 2 younger brothers. I have felt the power - LOL!

Rachel Cotterill | May 17, 2012 at 12:19 PM

I'm an only child - people sometimes tell me I'm intimidating but I've always found it difficult to believe! Maybe because I have all the confidence, but none of the experience actually exerting any influence over anyone... :)