day 325: me against me

Lately I am discovering some tough truths about myself.  And by lately I mean the last few years.  There are so many principles I believe in that I teach my children and encourage my friends in, but when it comes down to it I have a hard time putting them into practice in my own life. 

I have allowed myself to hold onto feelings of injury.  I have let these feelings determine future responses and expectations.  And guess what this does to the soul?  It opens the door to real cynicism.  To low expectations.  To assuming the best is just not in the cards.  Sheesh.

It is hard to face our weaknesses, because when they seem to be tied up in other other people our self-preservation hijacks our minds and we begin to feel justified in our negativity.  A few months back I reread a talk given by Thomas S. Monson called, "School Thy Feelings, O  My Brother."  I have not forgotten how President Monson taught about choosing our reactions in difficult situations.  I want to be better at making that choice.


CiCi | July 11, 2010 at 9:36 AM

Good job explaining the stuff you were hanging onto. I always like to read that other people are becoming aware of areas they would like to improve and do something about it.

LisAway | July 11, 2010 at 10:51 AM

Hear, hear. I'm totally with you on all of it (although I haven't been hurt and held onto that, but I have my own things. . . ). I love that the gospel teaches us not only the we should change, but that we can. I just wish it was easier (and faster).

Rachel Cotterill | July 11, 2010 at 3:41 PM

I understand that. Sometimes it's hard to "forget" things and move on... even when you know that would be for the best. Thanks for the reminder :)

Welcome to the Garden of Egan | July 11, 2010 at 5:32 PM

Thanks for making me think. I think I have some things I can improve on. Why is it easier to hold on to hurt rather than let it go.

Dedee | July 12, 2010 at 7:01 AM

I fall short on so much in my life. And this is a very thought provoking post that I'm going to be pondering!

Jenny | July 12, 2010 at 8:43 AM

I am with you in this. I react at times in ways that end up hurting the feelings of those I love.

Kimberly Vanderhorst | July 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM

This is such a hard one to fight, I think. It seems to require rewiring our thinking in a fairly intense way. That's part of why we're here though, isn't it. Lovely thoughts.

Kim | July 12, 2010 at 9:51 PM

Boy, I think we are on the same wave length the last couple of days . . . months . . . years. I wanting to forget and somehow forgetting is the hardest. I am so looking forward to the day when I can "School my feelings" and move on with life--just being happy.

Serene is my name, not my life! | July 13, 2010 at 8:27 AM

Oh, so true!

Now that I teach the Beehives almost every Sunday, I often find myself pushing so hard for them to believe in their potential for greatness.

And yet, when I look at myself....