How do you see yourself? How close are you to the person your coworkers and fellow worshipers see you as?

I used to say to my husband, "Do you ever feel like we are living a lie? Like we work so hard to put our best foot forward, and that the real us is buried somewhere underneath?" I still feel that way sometimes.

My darker, more introverted half is not always patient with weakness. Especially my own. I am fine with failure when it seems to be accidental or out of my, or anyone's, hands. But if it is something that could have been helped. Well, then I relive it a few dozen times in my mind, thinking about what could have gone better.

But my extroverted half, the one that loves going to dinner with friends and laughing til it hurts, loves to let everything go. I can play and put things off until the last minute if the immediate payoff is good enough.

I am dark. I am light. I am half-lit.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


CiCi | January 11, 2011 at 5:27 PM

Of course you are a combination of them all. You are human, and you are a woman. Need I say more?

Welcome to the Garden of Egan | January 11, 2011 at 5:29 PM

Very introspective Kazzy. I think we all feel that way at times.
I love being around "real" people.
You're for REAL!

Erin | January 11, 2011 at 6:06 PM

Yep, yep, yep and yep. I identify with everything you said.

Jenny P. | January 11, 2011 at 6:28 PM

I love that you always make me think about what i am simply by talking about what you are...

CB | January 11, 2011 at 6:31 PM

Cool picture! I am glad I am not the only one who thinks this way. We definately all have our different sides. I like to be positive so I think that is the side I show the most when sometimes I just need to let the otherside get out too.

Connie | January 11, 2011 at 7:28 PM

Aren't we all that way? We try to put our best foot forward for our admiring public. :-)

I think you're the real deal!

Bossy Betty | January 11, 2011 at 8:35 PM

You've tapped into something we all feel. I think when we recognize everyone is half-lit we can start to understand each other better.

Jenny Lynn | January 12, 2011 at 5:50 AM

Great picture, great thought....so glad to know that I am not the only one who thinks this way. I love that you are so Real!

Lara Neves | January 12, 2011 at 6:50 AM

Yes. I often feel this way. I feel I have started to bring the darker side of me more to light, and improve upon it in the last while, but I have a very long way to go.

Unknown | January 12, 2011 at 3:26 PM

The moon is the moon, no matter how much of it is showing at any given time. That the sun's reflection off of it changes its appearance to us here on planet earth is nothing of which the moon need feel ashamed. Nor would we be justified in suggesting that the moon actively practices deceit or concealment. It's always the same; some faces revealed now, others revealed then. And always, a part that remains hidden, private, but every bit as real.

Heather of the EO | January 12, 2011 at 7:45 PM

I love this. (I think I might say that every time I comment, but it's just true.)

Roxy | January 12, 2011 at 9:12 PM

That half-lit term applies so well to me. Probably applies to everyone. Great post, Kazzy.

Joanie | January 13, 2011 at 5:48 AM

Cool picture. Gave me something to think about.

Chris Phillips | January 13, 2011 at 11:53 AM

I am unfailingly me around everyone, pretty much to a fault.

Len Lambert | January 13, 2011 at 3:36 PM

I have just been thinking of this a few days ago, Karen. There maybe people who see the good in each one of us and some people who see the bad. The ones who see the bad are probably the ones who've seen us frustrated, disappointed, angry. There also ones who've seen both sides and love us anyway.

I don't think you're living a lie by treating people the best way you know how. I can relate to everything you said. This is a nice post. Love it.

gigi | January 13, 2011 at 6:21 PM

LOved that picture when I saw it on FB. Glad you posted it here. Great post.

Kimberly Vanderhorst | January 13, 2011 at 9:48 PM

Oh I get this.

And I love both your halves.